I am changing my wardrobe, I am changing my hair, I am building a closet to house the vacant stares I am building a body from the parts that remain I am still in pain but I am changing. I wanna be 5 feet taller than I am I wanna be 5 feet smaller than I am I wanna be moving so rapidly that my shoes they wear away from my feet, I am on the path that leads not to defeat, I am the one, the one to beat. I'm rewriting my body I am hoisting my sails, I am carving sigils and pulling up nails I am building a coffin to call my resting space I just want to be safe in this caging. I wanna be 5 feet smaller than I am I wanna be 5 feet taller than I am I wanna be moving so rapidly that I haven't closed my eyes in weeks, I'm moving dead on my feet, there is no question of who is weak. I wanna be moving, so rapidly...

There's a time in the night or a time in the day when I think it'd be alright if I up and ran away there'd be a spot in the woods where I could find my place if only I could commit to the chase towards feeling good, towards feeling better maybe I could survive the weather in the woods with just my sweater finally feeling good, finally feeling better feeling better. If I could grow wings too large to hide I'd rethink things, rework what's inside and then when I'm ready I would fly away, wrap my wings around me and sleep all day 'til I feel good, 'til I feel better it's woods and wings just trees and feathers. If I understood all of these tethers maybe I'd be good, maybe I'd feel better finally feeling better.

I know I've stumbled on the verses you wanted me to write and though I've stumbled past your doorway many moonless nights, the distance seems so far between the walkway and the door I don't know how we did this before. Well I've given you hours, but that was long ago and I know deep down that I'm supposed to know that we're okay without asking but there is so much distance inbetween the start and the end of a scene. Oh I stumbled on a sidewalk like it was a decision and though it's true you stumbled too this isn't a competition. Laying blame isn't the point of this song, I just thought you'd want to hear it, maybe hum along. There is so much distance inbetween the start and the end of a scene. There is so much distance inbetween the start and the end of a scene.

It feels like forever- the nights and the mornings. The nights are so long and the days just run together. We'll wait it out, it's just another one two three one two three... We'll wait it out, it's just another one two three one two three... It's gone too fast, I was a child yesterday. I thought it would last but everything just fades away. You close your eyes, and seconds turn to one two three one two three. You close your eyes, and one day turns to one two three one two three. One foot in front of the other. Even if the nights are calling. Even if my hair is grey, and my skin is old. One foot, in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. (one two three one two three) One foot in front of the other (one two three one two three...)

I don't really know how many times I've been in love but I know how many times I've been loved back.. Everything would be easier if I wasn't always sad, but I think I'd be less sad if things were a little easier.

I am the night air, you are a light sorry that things aren't quite the way, the way you wanted them to be (the way they would be in your crafted memory); and I am just an obstacle. I am still so very full of bad ideas and things to say, hectic plans and great escapes, words so far back on the shelf they're not much help to you or me or anyone else. Still I wanna say I'm sorry that you're feeling bad, text me when you're back home sad, I wanna know how if you sleep at night, I wanna say sorry that you're feelin bad, text me when you're back home sad. Wanna know if you sleep at night. Are you alright? Are you alright? I am a closed eye trying to see anything other than these pity parties with invitations sent through the mail I'd say that I'd go but you know that I'd bail. Still I'm sorry that you're feelin bad, text me when you're back home sad. Wanna know how you feel at night, are you alright? I'm sorry that you're feeling bad text me when you're back home sad. I wanna know how you feel at night, are you alright? Are you alright? I wanna say I'd know if you weren't, but I'm so in my head. I wanna say there's not a deterrent from keeping me peeking at what lies ahead. But I am just my hands- I don't expect you to understand. I am just my hands, I don't expect you to understand. I'm sorry I'm still feeling bad, I'll text you when I'm not home sad. I wanna know how to sleep at night, one day I'll be alright. Sorry I'm still feeling bad I'll text you when I'm back home sad. I wanna know how to sleep at night, one day I'll be alright. One day, one day, I know I'll be alright.

I was not meant for longevity I was not made to outlast the rest. I am only temporary. I am but a gentle houseguest. I am only what I am in this moment and what I am is nothing definable. I am lightning in a vial, I am love notes half erased forever changeable and indescribable. I am not a girl, I am not a ghost, I am not a boy, I am not a ghost, I am not a girl, I am not a ghost, I am not a house, I am not a home. I was not meant for longevity I was not made to outlast the rest. I am only temporary. I am but a gentle houseguest. I am but a gentle houseguest.

I never asked to be a sycamore tree! Tie a rope to me, I'd rather be a swingset. I don't wanna be the thing that cools you down after you run where I can't follow. I don't wanna wait in abject apathy while you chase the sun to swallow. I don't wanna wait, if I'm not even in a hand to hold. I don't want this fate- waiting for you or being alone. I never asked to be a sycamore tree! Tie a rope to me, I'd rather be a swingset. I've know the axe just like your eyes, waiting bated breath, counting down the hours. I don't wanna be the things that warms your hands, stiff from toppling more towers. I don't wanna fall, to the ground and then to pieces. Coming when you call, waiting til the heat increases. I never asked to be a sycamore tree! Tie a rope to me, I'd rather be a swingset. I never asked to be a sycamore tree! Tie a rope to me, I'd rather be a swingset.

I've got you in a photograph, the frame is wide and tall. I guess that it's a good thing that I tore down all my walls. I've got you hanging in my mind, though I left you far away, so I can take in what I've memorized before it fades away. These days I'm more like boxes than cellophane, hiding all my treasures from the window pane. Like a frozen river, keeping things in place, I am so determined to lose this race. I've got you in a photograph, the frame is wide and tall. I guess that it's a good thing that I tore down all my walls. I've got you hanging in my mind, though I left you far away, so I can take in what I've memorized before it fades away. We haven't moved our mouths in a lifetime or two. I'd say we're heading south, if there was anything left to lose. I'd hardly call it romance, all of that has died away; now it just a reminder that neither chose to stay. I've got you in a photograph, hanging on the wall, so I can still pretend that you remember me at all. I've got you hangin in my mind though I left you far away...

I can't pretend that I am where I want to be but I've been through mazes and I've raised up cities there are so many things I'd like to harvest but I'm just doing my best. I know, I know, there are so many things I've got to do, but I'd rather walk face forward than dwell on the things I've been through. I don't have a map, I think that that's okay. I am so off path, I'll just make my own way. Follow me! I won't lead you anywhere great, but I'm pretty good at conversation, I'm pretty good at reading a compass, I'm pretty good at standing up straight. Follow me. We'll get pretty lost pretty quick, but follow me- a change of scenery may do the trick. There are a lot of place I wish I'd never been to. There are a lot of voices, I wish I'd never listened to.